I Dont Understand

June 28, 2011

Dear V,
I dont know where to start. Its kind of crazy that i am even doing this. I never thought it would come to this. You were my everything when i had nothing. You were my heart and you still are. I gave up so much for you and Im still payin for it now. I gave you my all. And you gave me your back. You just left me like it was nothing like i didnt love you and like it wasnt going to hurt me. I was never good enough for you. It was always better in the streets. I could never amount to what those other girls had to offer you. I loved you so much. You always said you aint like to hear me coplaining, but your cheating made me do all of that. I could never trust you, but i still put up with it because i loved you more than you canj imagine. I did everything you asked and still I got hurt why is that? All my life I was hurt. My mom, family, friends, and everyonr else i let get close to me.I could only depend on myself because I had no one. I had nothing. But then I had you and now thats gone too.I had just moved to this town not that long ago and never gave any guy the time of day but you. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Doesnt it mean something that I let you in? Do you know how hard it is for me to trust? No because you never took the time to ask. I know you have been through alot in your life and you hold that against everyone but you shouldnt. I dont. I try not to because I dont want for anyone to ever hurt how i did. I am not that type pf person adn you know that. What you did was wrong. I have been through the same things that you have down to the t. But you never took the time to show me that you cared and that you understood my hurt and my pain. It was all about you and it shouldnt be like that. I understand that your father just passed away and your not doin to good. For that i sympathize. But not veerything in life is going to be like that. I know it seems hard but it will get better and I wanted to do it together but thats not what you wanted. Why?. My heart never stops hurting, I never stop crying, Im never truly happy. The happiest I’ve been in a long time was with you and you took that away too. You must not realize hoe your actions affect the people around you. I dont understand what i did for you to hurt me. I experienced my first of alot of things with you and im never gonna get that back. You took it when you left. But what i dont understand the most is why you keep coming back? Alol these girls want you and they say they love you and everything but you keep coming back to me hurting me and leaving me. Why woud you keep doing that? Am I a bad person? Do i deserve this?


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