If Only You Knew

June 27, 2011

Dear Les,

If only I’d find the courage to give you this letter. I never knew love until I knew you. We shared our minds, bodies, hearts, and souls with each other. We shared a feeling so deep that simply cannot be put into words.

The love in my heart for you will never change. People say that time heals everything. But the truth is, I still dream of you, I still cry myself to sleep thinking of you, and I still wish on ever star that you were here with me. I hope and pray every day that I will run into you. I still look out the window hoping you will pull into the driveway. First thing I do when I come home is check the answering machine. I still love you and want you to have the best of life.

I never knew loving someone could hurt this bad. We have hurt each other in ways we promised we never would.

What hurt me the most is the day that should have been one of the biggest in our lives; the day our daughter was born. I was scared, I needed you. I always thought in my heart that you would be there for that special moment, no matter what was going on. As I laid on that hospital bed, having your little girl, I thought you would show up. I prayed so hard that you would come, but you didn’t. You didn’t even call to see if our baby was oaky. I have never felt so scared, lost, and alone as I did that day. I wish I knew why, I wish I could understand. But, if you ever need me, I’ll be there; you have a special place in my heart and no matter what, you’ll stay there.

Les, I hope one day you will come around and get to know and love our daughter. She is one gift from our love you gave that you can never take back.

With love,


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