Missing You, Come Back

June 29, 2011

Dear Christina,

I love you so much and I miss you. I miss the little things you did like calling me Boo Bear or Baby. I miss holding you, kissing you, everything about you. You just don’t know what you do to me; every time I hold you I feel complete, every time I kiss you I feel bliss, every time I talk to you it makes my day. But not knowing if I’ll ever hold you, look into your eyes and kiss you again scare’s the hell out of me.

My heart aches at the thought of not being with you. I cherish the time we spent together – every hug, every kiss, walking, talking, holding hands. I cherish you, I love you and I’m so glad I found you. I would give anything just for you to be in my arms again; without you I feel so empty. When I’m with you there is just this feeling, my heart starts to beat faster I just feel so good like I can fly. It’s like all the love flows through me.

When I hold you, I feel so complete and I love holding you. I want to hold you and tell you everything’s going to be okay, I want to comfort you. I know you have been hurt before and so have I and I never want to hurt you. I want to hold you and make the bad feelings go away, yours and mine. I want to hold you and make you feel safe, protected, supported, loved. When I hold you it’s like nothing else matters except you and me…I want to take you to a place, where time stops and there’s nothing to worry about except you and me – the important things in life. I want to talk more about you and the troubles you’re going through so I can help you, even more, I want to be with you so you can forget them and put your mind at ease so you don’t stress out about everything.

We have all the time in the world to talk or do whatever. I wish I could take you somewhere just you and me so we could relax and be free and forget about all our troubles. So I can treat you like a queen, the way you should always be treated. You are my queen. How can I tell you, you mean more to me than life itself? I love you more than life and each passing day I love you even more. Just loving you has its own rewards, I never want to fight or argue with you, I just want to love you.

I just wish you were here right now so I could tell you this. I just keep trying to figure out all the wrongs I’ve done to you. maybe I didn’t say I love you enough, maybe I didn’t talk and open up enough, maybe I didn’t understand you enough and I just keep coming up with more things that I think I’ve done wrong to you. If I could, I would turn back time and redo all the wrongs I have done to you and make them right. I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for all the things I’ve done to you and take me back. I should have done a lot of things better now I will do better.

Every time I’m away from you I feel so empty. I think that’s why I pushed for us to be together when you didn’t have any free time. It was horrible in college, all those miles away from you feeling empty inside, wanting to call you and talk but couldn’t because I had no money for a phone card, I felt so bad because of that. I was just trying to make up for lost time. I wanted to be with you so bad it hurt, and then seeing other couples in college holding hands I felt even worse, you know what I mean. Each minute away from you feels like an eternity. I love you so much.

I hurt when you hurt, when you’re sad I feel it. When you’re depressed I’m depressed. I love you so much and I don’t like when you’re sad, I want you to be happy like you have made me and I’m so glad I found you. I would do anything to see you smile. I wish I could take away all the troubles in your life. But all I can do is comfort you and support you and be here if you need me, but I wish I could do more for you. I love you and I want to help you.

Love is not just saying I love you or something to that special person, it’s so much more than that. It’s helping, supporting, being there for them, standing by their side no matter what happens and doing anything you can for them, forgive and forget whatever mistakes they made and that’s what I want to do for you, Babe. I wish I could hold you and comfort you and make you feel comfortable and happy. I can only hope the things I do, say and write bring you happiness like you have given me. You are my heart and if I can do anything to please you, I will.

You mean so much to me and I’m lucky to have you. I try to keep everything you send me; remember when you sent me that email that talked about Valentine’s Day? I have a copy of it in my wallet for inspiration or when I feel down I read it. I’ve had it ever since you sent it to me. I love you so (x a million) much, I cherish the ground you walk on, I cherish everything about you, and I cherish you. You mean everything to me, you are special to me and you make me so happy and I feel so free when I’m around you. You’re always on my mind. I think of you everyday, sometimes when I see something on TV or hear a song, I think of you.

I love you and think about you all the time and I worry about you. I always wonder how you feel, how you’re doing, what you’re doing. Because I know you get depressed and sad and I worry about that. I want to try and help you because I’ve been there and done that. I’ve been depressed and I know how it feels, that’s why I want to help. I love you and I don’t want you to have to go through that alone, you may think you have to go at that alone but that’s not true. I’m here to help you, I want to support you and I worry about that. I love you so much and I don’t want you to worry or be depressed or be stressed out about something. I want to help you and comfort you; I want to try to make you as happy as you make me. You mean the world to me and I love you so much. All I want to do is hold you and love you and make all your troubles go away, I wish I could have told you this earlier.

I just want to make you so happy, so happy that you would feel as though you could fly. Babe, let’s try to piece our relationship back together. I need you … my heart needs you and I feel so empty without you. I love you so much.

Love always,


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