Wish I Could Go Back

June 29, 2011

Dear Louis,

I wish I could go back in time to our relationship, back before hurt found its way into our hearts. If only I could slip myself back to those moments, I would have have been more honest to myself and more attentive to what my heart was telling me. I would have held you a little longer and never, ever hurt you … but time will not allow me to go back and change my mistakes.

I can’t take away the questions that flood you, but I can try to answer them. I can’t erase the pain that fills your heart, but I can help in trying to ease it. I know that I can’t just jump back into your life and expect everything to remain the same, nor can I expect you to still have intimate feelings for me. A lot of time has passed between us and just because I feel as though I am now ready to have you in my life; it may now be different for you. I know I can’t have things fall into place whenever I am ready for them; destiny has no patience and holds for no one. I might have lost my chance with you because of my ignorance and my fear of falling in love, but I can’t ignore this gut feeling in my heart like I once did before.

I want us to work things out, and though it might not be possible, if you’re willing … I want to try. I am no longer scared as I was before, and being with you, I should have realized from the beginning that I never had any reason to be.

I miss you, and if for whatever reason things don’t work out between us, or if you choose to remain as a friend, that’s perfectly fine. I will take it as fate passed me by and that we just weren’t meant to be together. Whatever the outcome might be, know that I am so happy to still have you as a part of my life.

Love,
Naly

 

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