June 27, 2011

Dear John,

All I wanted from the start was to be with you. God knows how much you meant to me, not only as a friend, but with deeper, greater feelings as well.
As you know me by now, this is a way for me to pour my heart out to you, to let you know it’s crying and dying because you’re gone.
You brought back the light into my life when all I could see was darkness, you brought back the smile to my face when all I could do was frown, but most important, you brought back the love and trust that I had lost for people and you brought it back twice as much for me to give to you than I had previously given before. We shared plenty of moments where we opened up to each other and shared our secrets, our feelings of happiness, sadness, sometimes anger and intimacy. And, we promised each other that no matter what, we would be together because fate had brought us to do so. But now you have decided that it’s not what you longer want.
How can this be? Why now? Why now when my heart fully belonged to you? Why now when I was ready to be with you? Why now wehn I have fallen in love with you?
I find my fate has turned out so cruel; my fate is twisted, always getting my hopes up just to bring them back down again, but each time the pain comes back it’s stronger and longer.
Why did you do this to me, when you knew I would have done anything for you, when you knew that all my dreams, wishes and hopes surrounded you, when you knew that not having you in my life would instantly kill my heart? I’m all shattered and everything I see is blue. But I know I can’t change your mind and more importantly, I can’t change what you feel in your heart, so all I can ask you is, why?


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