She Never Knew

June 28, 2011

Dear Hanny Han,

Hello Han. It has been about a year and a half since seeing, hearing, and feeling you next to me. And you know that you are all that is important in my life. Though you made the decision of never acknowledging my existence in your life, I can never escape the pain and sorrow of the void you have left in my heart and soul. With each passing day, I die a little more and more, each time I remember to breathe.

On the day you asked me to let you go and walk away, you didn’t know that the following day was the ending of my previous life and the new beginning with you. I planned it out perfectly; buying the ring that I could afford at the time and finishing what I should have done a long time ago by finalizing the steps I needed to start a future with you by going to court the next day and turning in all the paper work necessary. I went ahead and ended my previous life anyways but it didn’t hit me that you would not be there.

As time went by and I started settling in on my own, you still were not there. I never gave up hope that you would come back to me since I believed each word you said. Yet all this time has passed and I have to come to the reality that I would never see you again in this lifetime. The ring I bought, the life I planned, and the happiness I dreamed of is all the imaginary images that will torture me till the day I die.

If only you knew who I really am, how much I loved you, and my planned proposal to you the next day.

Love always,
Jack

 

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