My Hopes For Us

July 4, 2011

Dear Lizzie,

I don’t know how to approach this with you in person, every day I fight a battle with myself my heart says I should tell you how I feel, but my head tells me not to be stupid that it would just cause damage to our friendship and that you wouldn’t be interested.

I know that there is probably very little I can say to change your mind either way; I am not totally discounting the possibility that the way I feel about you could be reciprocated, but as I have very little luck in this area in the past my hopes are fairly small.

I wanted to put into words my feelings in the hopes that although you may never see the words in writing or even hear them from my lips that you would still know that I care deeply for you, I feel that given the chance this could turn into more, but I guess that will depend on you and how you feel about me.

I can’t pinpoint what exactly it is that makes me feel that you do have some feelings towards me. Maybe it’s due to the way that when I talk to you, how you nearly always look me in the eyes; so few people do that.

I wish I could vocalize my feelings to you but my fear prohibits me so much I think that by the time I finally gain the courage, that you will be with someone else. My biggest fear is that I would tell you and I would see a look of fear or horror on your face that would break me.

I wish I could tell you how every time you don’t turn up for work I fear that I will never see you again or that you will get into trouble with people; I just want to protect you so much.

I see you sometimes and you look down even though you may pretend otherwise. I wish you would open up to me and let me in to your life. I know it wouldn’t be easy but I still believe that I could be good for you, if only you could return my feelings. I know I may not be the best looking man, you know, and I don’t have much to offer financially, all I could offer you is my heart and soul.

I fear that this will not turn out the way I hope but I pray that it does. As I said before, you may never know the true extent of my feelings although I would imagine you have some suspicions.

This may be a crush or infatuation but I swear to you that it does not feel like it, as I have had crushes before but never really felt the kinds of emotions I do for you.

I hope that if I can muster the courage to tell you how I feel, that whatever your feelings, it will turn out okay and that at the very least we can be good friends, but I long for so much more.

Love always,


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