First Love

July 1, 2011

Dear Volley,

I wish I could bring back time. I wish I could change the past. If only I could go back to the sweet old days when you were still mine, I would never have let you go. I let you slip from my very hands, and that was my biggest mistake. I was young when we fell in love, but you were my first love, and you will always have a special place in my heart.

You loved me for only a short time, but you loved her too, and that is the most painful feeling. Because you chose her over me when she couldn’t give you the kind of love you deserved. I hurt so much that I could not gather the courage to tell you how I felt. What’s amazing though, was that you could make me smile no matter how desperate and lonely I felt. On the outside I still had my sunny disposition; no one would have guessed how lost and numb I felt deep inside. You must have known how hard it was for me, but we both did not have the courage to discuss what each other was going through. You just made it clear and final, that you loved her. You have no idea how much I wanted to be her. I’ve always been content with myself, but damn, I wanted to be in her place.

Time slipped away and now we are walking different paths. Two years have passed by; a lot of changes have taken place. I’ve seen a lot of new faces, I’ve gone to a lot of different places, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think of you anymore. I think about you a lot, I think about what could have been if only I had the courage to stand up for what I felt. It could have made a difference. I let you go, so easily.

I want you back. I want you to know the woman I’ve now become. Despite all of the changes, I still manage to smile every time I see your picture, or whenever someone mentions your name. I’m still here for you. And if you ever get to read this letter, I want you to know that to me, you are beyond perfect. You were my first love and if only God could give me one last chance to win you back, even for just one last time, I want to be with you again.

Love always,


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