Is It Really Goodbye?

June 27, 2011

Dear Rain,

Thank you for coming into my life. When the day I wanted to end my life because he left me, you came to tell me that life must go on. You were sent to be my angel. Thank you for everything, for all your sacrifices.

I miss those times when you call me “Mahal.” When I was exhausted at the end of the day and I called, you were always there to listen to me, to keep me fighting. You have been my inspiration, you helped me achieve my dreams. But now, they all fell apart.

I know I’m not the kind of woman you’ve dreamed of, but still you loved me for what I am. I remember you once told me, “I don’t care if you don’t love me too”. If you only knew, Baby, you were my life, my everything. If you only knew how happy I was to have you and how my life fell apart when I lost you.

I know that I’ve hurt you so many times and that I shouldn’t be bothering your life now. I know that I said, “Let me go,” but still here I am asking for another chance, if you could still be mine. Things really changed when you left. My life started to lose direction. I must admit, I still can’t move on.

I kept in blaming myself, it was my entire fault. I’ve been too selfish, too hard on you. Now I’m starting to realize that you were too good for me. You are a very good man and you deserve someone better than I am. I tried to change for you, but my efforts were not enough. I hope somehow, I made your life special, though I’ve not been perfect for you. I hope you’ll be happy now and that you can find the person whom you truly deserve.

If you really decide to let go, then I can do nothing. I know sorry is not enough for the things I have done but I hope my sincerity is enough. I regretted those foolish things that I’ve done. Because of those things, I lost you, I lost my life. And I’ll never love again because of that.

But if you can give me another chance, I swear this time I’ll make sure I won’t hurt you and never, ever let you go.

Even if it will take me a lifetime, I will wait for you until you come back. I would not want another love than you. I’d rather be alone than to be with someone who can’t take your place.

We’ve done our best to make our relationship last longer, but things happen and we had to say goodbye. This goodbye would not mean forgetting our memories, they are too special to forget. It does not mean forgetting the things in our past that made us both better individuals. We had to say goodbye but I want you to remember this … you will always have a special place in my heart. I consider myself lucky to experience a love as wonderful as yours. For the last time, I love you, Mahal.

Love always,


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