Hurting but in love

June 28, 2011

When I think of the pain you caused my poor heart i weep . I weep in surrow that I may never find one who i can love so . You were the only one my heart sung for , the only one who made me belive that love was possible or obtainable. My mind is clouded with visons for your face unceasing pain grasps my heart with regret for my love for you was the only thing that made this cold world seem like a pleasent fantasy ! I loved you more then I loved myself but when it really came down to sacrifice i made it all just to oneday realize it wasent appreciated ! I wish tha i could give you my heart so that you could see the damage youve done to it ! Without a second throught you up and left , without thinking of me you decided us wasent good enough for you ! Everything i did just to make sure you were happy you ignored and blamed me for things i did not do or things you brought upon yourself ! I pray that god shows you what youve become because it is a horrible reflection of what you once were ! God has always provided me with sources to defeat my broken heart ! I belive that you will oneday realize how cold you really are inside ! You are the most self-aggront person i have ever met but yet my heart cried for you and weeps for you ! I am so hurt by your selfish actions and displays of ridicule … I dream of the day you open your eyes to real love and hang up your jersey and your playing days are over ! No one can make that happen BUT god! So everynight i pray that someday you will realize the mess you made and will be forced to clean it up ! I weep for your soul you are so far gone and its not even funny ! You go around and hurt people because youve been hurt all i ever did was love you and love you more ! I never hurt you nor lied to you because I respected you that much to be real and up front but i guess you could not see my effort in loving you and you found someone who did ! I refuse to hate you but i realize that you have grown to hate me for my love for you ! I love you more then life itself and for you to treat me so bad is like a big slap in the face ! I love you and I am always praying for you !
Jai J


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