You Are My Calm

June 29, 2011

Dear Ty,

Of all the chaos that has engulfed my train of thought, you have been my focus, my calming sense of being. Sometimes, you can read my mind and you tell me exactly what I want to hear. Then there are times when we aren’t on the same level at all. Regardless of how much that frustrates me, I still look forward to your voice.

I wanted you to call me last night. I wanted to hear you say that no matter what the doctor said, I will be okay and that everything he said was just statistics. I wanted to hear you say that I am your Kina and not a statistic despite having so many odds against me. Even though I couldn’t be in your arms, I would’ve believed everything would be okay just by you saying it would. I am not sure why, but you didn’t call. You didn’t see through stupid typed words that don’t show you how I am really doing. And I shouldn’t have expected you to. For that I apologize.

I love you with all my heart.

Love always,


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