Dear Dani,
It’s been a long time since you’ve heard from me. Although we see each other every day, I can say that it’s different; it’s cold, as if we don’t have something we shared. It’s been so hard for me to accept that we’re living separate lives now, looking at things as if we’re strangers. The pain that you brought me was not easy to forget. Every day, I’m hurt, but trying to survive.
Sometimes, I’m happy because I wasn’t able to think of you for the whole day, or maybe I was, but choose to ignore the thoughts. Little by little, I’m beginning to learn how to love myself and not entertain your presence. But, sometimes I still feel emotional and choose to think of the past and the good memories we had, even if I know that it would worsen my situation.
My environment, especially in the office, was not helpful for me. Sometimes I wanted to quit and start a new life far from you, but it’s hard. Just the thought of not seeing you makes me weak. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s my way of being happy.
Every day, I’m waiting for signs, which sometimes leaves me with hopeless expectations. Every move and every action you make, I interpret … I’m like a fool watching every moment of you and so desperate for you to notice my existence. A simple smile makes me happy. A short conversation makes my whole day brighter. You fill the empty space in my heart; this is how you make me feel every day.
Maybe I’m still not over you, even if I sing 1000 times that I’m over you, I know deep in my heart that I’m not. I’m still waiting and wanting to be with you again. I still want you back!
Love always,
Dzoy
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