There You Were

July 4, 2011

Dear Katherine,

“Stop searching!” Is what everyone keeps on telling me … so, stop searching is what I did. And on that day I walked into the store to try on some clothes, I encountered the sweetest smile I have ever seen complimented with such beautiful eyes. My heart skipped a beat, I couldn’t catch my breath and the only thing I could really say is, “Thanks, but I’m just looking around.” I wanted to say so much more than that. I wanted to stare into your eyes and talk to your heart but I was nervous, so nervous I wanted to leave. But I stayed; you were so helpful and so genuine with the compliments you gave me.

I started to melt in the dressing room, thinking of clever ways to ask you out. But all I was worried about was rejection or “searching” again. As I left, I felt no peace, I wanted to run back in and ask you to dinner … my heart was trying to pull my body back in the store but all that kept happening was my mind taking over, moving one foot in front of the other, walking around the mall aimlessly thinking about what I can say to you and asking God to give me the right words to say to you.

Then a burst of confidence came over me, rehearsing the lines over and over in my head. I decided to walk back and I told myself, “If she’s standing all alone, that will be a sign to go up to her.” So, as I walked past the store, there you were alone, right in front of the cash register. But my mind took over again and I marched right out of the mall and into my car.

Thinking of how much of a fool I am, I started to repeat different scenarios in my head of rejection and acceptance. As I returned to work I was clouded with thoughts of you. So, as my confidence built up I asked God to close all the doors, take away all the distractions and anything that is not from Him. And so he did.

After work I drove back to the mall, again I was replaying the afternoon in my head, seeing your beautiful smile with those beautiful eyes, and your contagious scent, and your sweet voice. Impatient, as I am driving back eagerly waiting to step back in your presence, I rushed there. As I pulled up, I waited for a parking spot and as the car pulled out, I pulled in. I walked steadily back into the mall, and I as I walked around the corner into your store, you walked out … I knew it was sign.

So caught up with you, nervous as can be, I muttered out, “I know this is impulsive, but I would like to know if you would like to go get some coffee …?” And with an angelic voice you answered back, “Yes!” I was in shock … thinking you were going to say something else. So, my heart started to pound and flutter, butterflies flooded my stomach and joy filled in my heart. I wanted to dance like a child, but I was floating, I couldn’t feel my feet .. all I could feel was my heart.

Thank for letting me know that I am worth it … Hope to see you soon.


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